The Doughnut, Not The Hole

^{Read Time: <3 min minus the hyperlinks :)}

Life often serves us a half-eaten doughnut. You’ve got the job, the paycheck, the title—but all you see is what’s missing. Maybe it’s that promotion you didn’t get, the startup funding that fell through, or the nagging sense that you should be elsewhere by now.

However, focusing on the hole—the absence, the lack, the problem—only amplifies it. But what if we could train our brains to see the doughnut instead? The part that’s still there, still valuable, still delicious.

The Science of Optimism: Beyond Just a Nice Idea

In Learned Optimism, psychologist Martin Seligman found that optimistic salespeople sold 37% more insurance policies than their pessimistic counterparts.

Similar studies show that optimistic people are happier and more successful. We all know some such people, but they are more of an exception than a rule.

“But is optimism not about ignoring reality?” Your trained skeptic chirps within.

No, silly, It’s not denial - it’s a choice to see things differently. Some people know this.

They are not problem-free, either, and none are. They just have trained themselves to see the glass as half full or the delicious part of the doughnut.

The issue lies in how we are wired. Neuroscientist Dr. Rick Hanson explains that our brains have a Negativity Bias, meaning we naturally dwell on threats more than opportunities.

The media industry thrives on this insight. Stop watching the news.

“Is there a way out then?”

Of course. Neuroplasticity ahoy! Just practice these hacks.

Shifting Focus One Bite At A Time

A. Seize the Narrative

Reframing is about reinterpreting a negative situation in a way that empowers you.

For Example:

• Corporate employee stuck in a dead-end job? Instead of thinking, I’m wasting my time here, try: This is my training ground. I’m using this time to master skills that will make me invaluable in my next role.

• Startup founder facing rejection? Instead of thinking, Investors don’t believe in me, try: I’m refining my pitch every time and finding the right backers who align with my vision.

B. Shift Attention to What You Have

Did you hear about the Tetris Effect? According to Harvard psychologist Shawn Achor, our brain sees what it’s trained to see. 

Just notice where your energy is flowing. Energy follows focus. If you focus on scarcity, you deplete yourself. If you focus on possibilities, you energize yourself.

For Example:

• A mid-career professional feeling stuck? Reorient by recognizing existing strengths: I’ve built a strong network, have domain expertise, and understand how big organizations work. List your valuable assets that can be leveraged for a career pivot.

• Are you an entrepreneur struggling with market traction? Instead of dwelling on the lack of customers, reorient by focusing on early adopters: Who already believes in my product? How can I better serve them?

C. Take One Small Action Step

Stanford psychologist BJ Fogg, author of Tiny Habits, emphasizes that big changes start with small steps. When you focus on progress instead of perfection, momentum builds.

What’s one small thing I can do right now? If you may, fail forward.

For Example:

• Feeling unappreciated at work? Instead of sulking, take one proactive step—send a LinkedIn post about your latest project, schedule a chat with a mentor, or start working on a side project that excites you.

• Struggling to get traction on a startup idea? Instead of overthinking, make one small move—send an email, test a small campaign, or reach out to a potential partner.

The Doughnut Thinkers

I Love Sara Blakely - Founder of Spanx

Before becoming a billionaire, Blakely sold fax machines door-to-door for seven years. Rejections were regular. Instead of fixating on the failure, she saw it as training for resilience. Her dad even encouraged her to fail, asking, What did you fail at today? A brilliant reframe that normalized setbacks. Especially in a world full of Tiger parenting :)

Resilience Queen J.K. Rowling

Before Harry Potter became a global phenomenon, Rowling was a single mother on welfare who was rejected by scores of publishers. Instead of focusing on the rejections (the hole), she focused on the story she believed in (the doughnut) & kept going.

Cockroach Founders of Airbnb

Brian Chesky and Joe Gebbia launched Airbnb in 2008—and struggled to get funding. Investors turned them down seven times. Instead of giving up, they focused on their small group of loyal users and refined their offerings.

Seeing the doughnut instead of the hole is a skill, not a personality trait. It’s something you build, like a muscle.

The hole is always there. There will always be something missing, something imperfect. But the doughnut—the part that is there—is where your power, potential, and joy live.

Viktor Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, endured years in Nazi concentration camps. He witnessed immense suffering but observed a critical distinction:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”

So, next time life hands you a doughnut, don’t waste time staring at the hole. Take a bite and keep walking. Now that reminds me of taking a swig ;)

Cheers!

^{Image Credit - Freepik.com}

Feel free to comment or DM me about anything. Lots of love!

___Why is it called /SALTT______________

^{In Roman times, salt was prized as much as gold—it was essential and invaluable and paid as a “salary.” Earning your salt means adding real value, which is crucial. The phrase still resonates today, but perhaps with an even deeper meaning. Earning our salt is not about compensation only—it’s about contribution, fulfillment, and the courage to live with intention.}