Shifting Gears From FOMO To JOMO

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It's yet another Saturday evening, and you’re scrolling through Instagram. Your feed is a parade of curated perfection—friends dining at a fancy restaurant, someone hitting the gym, and that one coworker who’s somehow hiking in the Alps while you’re in your PJs eating instant noodles. Your chest tightens, and certain chemicals start dancing in your system without you realizing how your neuro grid is getting hijacked again.

“Am I missing out on life?”

This anxiety, this Fear of Missing Out (FOMO), is a universal feeling in our hyperconnected world. Bankers, VCs, Advertisers, the Crypto Mafia, and even the Education system effectively use the science behind it to keep you on the treadmill.

But here’s the plot twist: Enter JOMO, the Joy of Missing Out. It’s the antidote to the relentless pressure to do, achieve, and attend to everything.

Let’s unpack FOMO's effects and dive into practical, research-backed strategies to embrace JOMO.

The Science Behind FOMO

Psychologists define FOMO as a pervasive apprehension that others are having rewarding experiences from which you are absent. A study published in Computers in Human Behavior (2013) found that FOMO correlates strongly with low self-esteem, loneliness, and a need for social belonging. Essentially, the more uncertain you feel about your life, the more susceptible you are to FOMO.

Neurologically, FOMO triggers your brain’s amygdala —the part responsible for fear. It activates survival instincts, making you feel like missing out on an event or opportunity threatens your social standing.

Why JOMO Is The Antidote To Chaos

On the other hand, JOMO is about actively choosing to miss out—and feeling good about it. It’s rooted in mindfulness and intentional living. Instead of succumbing to external pressures, you enjoy focusing on what matters most.

Dr. Laurie Santos, a cognitive scientist at Yale, emphasizes that happiness stems from savoring the present moment and aligning actions with personal values—not from cramming life with endless activities.

Making A Conscious Move

Transitioning from FOMO to JOMO isn’t just about deleting Instagram (though that helps). It’s about rewiring your mindset, habits, and values. Here’s a framework to get started:

1. The Priority Compass

Define your ‘North Star’ priorities. Your core reason for being.

Decide what activities would nourish these priorities.

e.g., I reflected on my ‘True North’ priorities, and this came up - Morning ‘me’ time, Creative projects, Learning, building & scaling products along with diverse entrepreneurial minds, Enabling my daughters to become their best selves & trying to make my wife happy :)

Start saying no to commitments that don’t align with your compass. Use the “Hell Yes or Hell No” test, popularized by Derek Sivers. If an invitation or opportunity doesn’t excite you to your core, politely decline.

2. The White Space

Allocate a fixed 15-30 minutes daily to scroll mindfully. Instead of refreshing feeds, dive into thoughtful articles, books, or long-form videos that expand your mind.

Use apps like Freedom or StayFocusd to block platforms outside this window. Try Brick and see how it can help you overcome your iPhone addiction.

Read physical newspapers or weekly magazines instead of 24/7 updates. I read FT every Sunday, and it's like meditation.

Create a weekend ‘social media fast’ support group. Afterward, reflect and share your feelings—you may notice less anxiety and more mental clarity.

3. The Gratitude Practice

FOMO thrives on what’s absent. Gratitude shifts focus to what’s present. By appreciating what you have, you weaken FOMO’s power.

Instead of “I’m thankful for my family,” write more specifically, “I’m grateful for the laughter I shared with my daughter during dinner.”

Research shows that practicing gratitude regularly can rewire your brain to seek joy in everyday moments.

4. The Cognitive Traps

Awareness is the first step. Techniques like anchoring, scarcity bias, and loss aversion anchor people’s expectations on examples of outsized returns and make them anxious about missing similar opportunities.

Research shows that people fear missing out on massive profits more than they fear losing money.

Adopt a mantra like, “What’s for me won’t pass me by.” This will shift your focus from external validation to intrinsic goals.

5. Practice Mindful Decision-Making

Before reacting to any FOMO trigger, pause and ask - Do I really want this, or am I being swept up by external noise?

Use The ‘3 Cube’ Rule -

• Wait 3 days before making impulsive purchases.

• Research 3 alternatives to the product or opportunity.

• Consult 3 trusted people for objective advice.

Power of NO

Warren Buffet famously said, “The difference between successful and very successful people is that very successful people say NO to almost everything.”

Moving from FOMO to JOMO isn’t about rejecting the world or becoming a hermit. It’s about making conscious choices that align with your authentic self.

By choosing joy over fear, you’ll not only reclaim your time—you’ll rediscover your life in a totally new way on your own terms.

If you're looking to shift gears in your life, search for a new job, or make an entrepreneurial switch, DM me for a discussion. Happy to help in more ways than one!

___Why is it called /SALTT______________

^{In Roman times, salt was prized as much as gold—it was essential and invaluable and paid as a “salary.” To “earn your salt” is to add real value, which is crucial. The phrase still resonates today, but perhaps with an even deeper meaning. Earning our salt is not about compensation only—it’s about contribution, fulfillment, and the courage to live with intention.}

^{_{Picture credits - Original Abstract Painting by Elizaveta Suprun | Abstract Art on Canvas | "SAY NO"}}