Me, Myself & My Identity. Phew!

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My red-eye flight was delayed by 2 hours, which should be considered a crime against humanity. After sipping a few coffees to ensure I boarded at 2:30 AM, I was ready to go all out without sleep. But as luck would have it, I was sitting next to a young lady who was equally high on caffeine, and we started talking.

She had just started a D2C startup after quitting her plush job with a top consulting firm. I had a great conversation about the highs and lows of corporate life, along with the perks and pitfalls of starting up mid-way in your career. Her changing tracks around her 34th birthday struck me, but what stood out in our heartfelt exchange was the question of ‘identity’ she was grappling with after quitting her ‘model’ job.

“So, What do you do?”

I chuckle when social networking types start with this question. That little question packs a punch. In our work-obsessed world, what you do often becomes who you are. Corporate executives, in particular, can feel this most acutely. Their identity gets tightly wrapped around their job title, company name, and LinkedIn accolades.

But what happens when the rug is pulled out from under you? When you’re suddenly retrenched, retired, or decide to walk away to explore a different path? Losing a professional identity can feel like a freefall into a void. This isn’t just a career problem; it’s a deeply personal, existential one.

Let’s unpack the psychology behind this identity crisis and equip you with tools to emerge stronger, wiser, and, perhaps, happier.

Why Do We Tie Our Identity to Work?

Humans are wired to seek meaning and belonging. Work provides both. It gives structure to our days, a sense of purpose, and social validation.

You’re not just losing a paycheck; you’re losing your “story.”

This ties to existential anxiety, a concept introduced by Viktor Frankl. When faced with the uncertainty of “Who am I if not this?” we confront the deeper question of life’s meaning—a question we often suppress.

If any of this resonates, know it’s normal. The trick is to reframe your relationship with work and identity before—or as—you face these transitions.

The “Possible Selves” Framework

Developed by organizational psychologist Herminia Ibarra, this framework encourages you to explore your identity beyond a single role. You are much more than VP this and MD that.

Begin by writing a “self-inventory” of skills, passions, or interests you’ve neglected while working. Use this as a springboard to explore your “transitional self.”

Embrace the messy middle and craft time-bound experiments with new roles, hobbies, or gigs. Your new identity will gradually emerge and align more with your evolving values and goals.

Gita, Buddha, Stoics, Advait - Same Same But Different

We often over-identify with our roles and the outcomes they produce, forgetting that roles are temporary. The Gita teaches us to act with integrity and purpose while staying detached from the outcomes.

It’s important to ask - What work would bring you true joy and fulfillment if you weren’t chasing outcomes (like promotions or societal approval)?

Buddhism emphasizes the principle of anicca (impermanence). The Buddha compared life to a flowing river: nothing remains fixed, and resisting change only creates pain.

Your corporate identity is a construct, not your true self. As you have evolved to become an executive, you can evolve beyond it.

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus teaches us to focus on what we can control and let go of external factors beyond our influence.

Write down what’s in your control (e.g., learning new skills, building connections) and what’s not (e.g., the economy, Trump winning elections :). What remains within your control is how you respond to this change.

If you want to know the highest practice, it’s self-inquiry (Who am I?). As Ramana Maharishi suggested, ask yourself this question repeatedly, stripping away labels like “executive” or “parent” until you connect with your core essence.

Instead, focus on asking what qualities (e.g., kindness, resilience) define you.

Get on the Ikigai Adventure Trail

The Japanese concept of ikigai (a reason for being) can help you redefine your purpose at the cusp of your love, the needs of the world, your strengths, and what can get paid.

Map out these four areas. Are there intersections you’ve overlooked? For instance, a CFO who loves personal financial planning might explore becoming a wealth coach.

Here are some of the Most Powerful Questions you can ask yourself to discover yours.

Record or write the answer sincerely. Something will surely open up. DM me if it does.

A Beginner’s Mindset - Voila!

How about approaching life with curiosity and openness rather than fear and uncertainty? Losing your corporate or any acquired identity can feel like the end, but it’s often a profound beginning.

Stanford psychologist, Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset, shows that framing challenges as opportunities for learning build resilience.

Our worth is intrinsic, not tied to external roles. By shifting your perspective and leaning into practices that cultivate inner peace, you can navigate transitions not with fear but grace and curiosity.

Remember, you are not your job. You are the author of your story—and it’s never too late to rewrite the narrative.

There are many examples of reinventors like Howard Shultz, Huda Kattan, Ali Abdal, and millions more who became more successful and happier after such poignant transitions.

I see life as a giant experiment. Don’t let the child within you get lost in some stupid labeling game.

You can grow a diamond in your lab every day. Keep smiling!

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I teamed up with seasoned founders, investors, and experts to create an ‘Idea to Startup in under 15 weekends’ co-pilot program. It’s for corporate warriors who want to create their venture without leaving their golden nest. This program will help you ideate, build an MVP, validate, launch, and get the tricks of this opaque world of venture capital and innovation economy. Rose-tinted glasses are not enough to survive in the wild. 🙂 

Email me for a 20 minute 1-1 discussion to learn the details > [email protected]

___Why is it called /SALTT______________

^{In Roman times, salt was prized as much as gold—it was essential and invaluable and paid as a “salary.” To “earn your salt” is to add real value, which is crucial. The phrase still resonates today, but perhaps with an even deeper meaning. Earning our salt is not about compensation only—it’s about contribution, fulfillment, and the courage to live with intention.}