Make the 'Voice in Your Head' Your BFF

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I got busy listening to my inner chattering lately after all the new year action and missed the bus to Writesville last week.

I'm sorry if you missed your /Saltt.

I found some quiet time to reflect on this miss by the scenic shores of Lake Zurich this week. It’s cold here but nice enough to enjoy the brew in a cozy cafe. Solitude & slow pace helped me reach this quote from a wise man whose YouTube videos at normal speed can really teach you patience :)

“When you recognize that there’s a voice in your head that pretends to be you, you are awakening.” - Eckhart Tolle.

I couldn’t help but think - Is it happening to me? :)

It’s estimated that we have 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts daily, most of which are automatic and repetitive. The voice in your head narrates your experiences, critiques your actions, and forecasts your future.

Often, it’s not kind.

We spend more than 50% of our waking hours thinking about something other than what we’re doing, and this mind-wandering often causes unhappiness. So, how do we turn this chatterbox into an ally?

Why Self-Talk Matters

How we talk to ourselves influences our mindset, emotional well-being, and actions. Psychologist Ethan Kross, author of Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It, explains that negative self-talk can exacerbate anxiety, diminish performance, and even impact physical health. Conversely, supportive self-talk fosters resilience, confidence, and clarity.

It’s like if our best friend constantly criticizes you, would the friendship survive? Probably not. Yet we tolerate—and even nurture—negative self-talk within ourselves. Perhaps it’s time to flip the script.

Upon further digging down this rabbit hole, I found some useful frameworks that might help you become aware of this invisible ally.

This could also open up the path to self-realization for the seekers or bring more positivity to the life of ordinary mortals :)

Recognize, Reframe, and Reinforce

Recognize - Begin by noticing your inner dialogue. Slow down and just sit without any distractions. Watch your thoughts floating by. This is called WIP meditation. You will notice your new tenant, who is always on. 

Journaling can also help you spot patterns if you struggle to drive in the fourth gear straight. For example, if you’re prone to catastrophizing (“I always mess up”), write it down.

Reframe - Replace negative phrases with constructive alternatives. Instead of “I’m a failure” or “I sucked at the last presentation,” try “This didn’t go as planned, but I’m learning.” Reframing shifts perspective.

Reinforce: Celebrate small wins to build confidence. Positive reinforcement anchors new, empowering beliefs. Inner work is the most important piece of your life. Schedule time for it. Netflix can wait.

Switch on the Third Person POV

Studies show that distancing yourself from your inner voice by speaking in the third person helps regulate emotions. Instead of thinking, “I’m so bad at writing this newsletter,” I tried, “Anuj is learning a new skill. It’s okay to stumble.” 🙂 

This technique creates emotional distance and fosters objectivity. Be kind to yourself.

The Morning Anchor

I have realized that mornings are one of life's most expensive & precious assets. Get up earlier than usual and start your day with intentional self-talk. I started at 4:30 AM today, and it’s beautiful. Hope to maintain it without the jetlag :)

The creator's hour inspired me to craft this 12-6-3 frame (TM), which takes less than 5 minutes to get you in the zone.

Take 12 deep breaths (till naval point) followed by 6 things you are genuinely thankful for (including waking up in the morning itself) & 3 core affirmations of your choice - e.g.,

“Everything works out for me smoothly and in time.”

“I deserve & allow success and joy.”

“I love myself & the universe loves me back with showers of grace.”

Practice Cognitive Defusion

Cognitive defusion is a technique from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that involves detaching from harmful thoughts.

For example, if the thought “I’m not good enough” arises, imagine it as a cloud drifting by. Label it: “There’s my insecurity again.” This reduces the thought’s power over you.

The following quote sums it up so beautifully.

“You don’t have to believe everything you think.” – Byron Katie

Remember tennis legend Serena Williams. In high-pressure moments, she repeatedly tells herself, “You got this.” This simple mantra quiets doubts and boosts confidence.

A study from Stanford revealed that even brief self-compassion exercises can significantly reduce cortisol, the stress hormone. The science is clear: Befriending your inner voice isn’t just feel-good advice; it’s a powerful tool for mental and emotional well-being.

Charity begins at home. “Talk to yourself like someone you love.” – Brené Brown.

Finally, I also recommended this book earlier. I can’t emphasize enough the inner wisdom of this tiny book: Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It.

Ich Habe Liebe Dich (in Swiss German)

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Feel free to DM for anything. Lots of love!

___Why is it called /SALTT______________

^{In Roman times, salt was prized as much as gold—it was essential and invaluable and paid as a “salary.” Earning your salt means adding real value, which is crucial. The phrase still resonates today, but perhaps with an even deeper meaning. Earning our salt is not about compensation only—it’s about contribution, fulfillment, and the courage to live with intention.}